Smash the Sexual Status Quo: Demand Oral Sex

If you’re an American woman like me, you probably grew up in a culture where the blow job was revered as a sexual act that every woman should learn to perfect so as to properly satisfy and keep her man. (If not, then maybe this article isn’t for you, and also I’d like to know where you grew up.) What with all the Cosmo magazine covers touting seven new ways to give him an amazing blow job, the incessant stream of pop music lyrics about getting head in the back of a van (or wherever), and popular phraseology such as, “Suck my dick, bitch!” as some sort of epithet, the prevalence of the blow job in popular culture is unavoidable. Sure, blow jobs are great, but I don’t have a penis, so I couldn’t really tell you. However, on the flip side, the female equivalent of a blow job, aka cunnilingus, seems to be glaringly absent from popular culture as an elevated, special sex act.

As a woman, I find it common that men expect a blow job as part of any sexual encounter, yet asking for cunnilingus seems to be something that is reserved for special occasions. Rather than being expected every time, cunnilingus is touted as a laborious task that men try not to perform. I would like to state that cunnilingus is, in fact, a pretty easy task, especially when compared to the throat choking, suffocating, gag worthy act of sucking dick. It’s the difference between licking a lollipop and trying to win a hot dog eating contest. Therefore, I don’t understand why popular culture wouldn’t embrace the all-too-easy sex act of licking pussy, apart from perhaps a cultural phobia of the vulva and everything beautiful that it has to offer.

Changing this attitude towards cunnilingus, and towards the vulva, serves not only women in terms of immediate sexual pleasure, but it also serves men in terms of being able to expand their sexual prowess and maintaining fulfilling sexual relationships with women. Indeed, bowing down to the vulva to totally pleasure it through oral skills is an act that pays deference to the female sex organs. Rather than cloaking the clitoris in mystery, it should be lauded in popular culture. Adopting a cultural attitude that embraces cunnilingus as an entry level tool in every man’s sexual repertoire will only help to promote sexual understanding among the genders.

Because how many times have you given a blow job, only to not receive some head in return? How many times has the blow job been expected of you, only to have your sexual pleasure unreciprocated? How many orgasms have you given to men, only to not receive an orgasm yourself? It is this sexual dynamic that needs to be smashed, and by demanding oral sex, we can balance the scales. Popular culture tells men that it’s harder for women to have orgasms, and, because men think this, they believe that they don’t have to try to give us orgasms because we just don’t have them. They are wrong, and eradicating this mentality is the goal of demanding oral sex. In any sexual relationship, the amount of orgasms that a man receives should be equal to the amount of orgasms that a woman receives. Sex should not be an act that favors one party’s orgasm over another’s, and, by demanding oral sex, we can ensure that the number of orgasms that women are having within their sexual encounters are equal.

The adoption of a pro-cunnilingus attitude seems to be the tricky part here. While on a macrocosmic level, depicting cunnilingus as a must have for men and women in movies, ads and music is an excellent way to broach the conversation of oral sex for women, it’s important that we take action as individual women. The answer to bringing about a pro-cunnilingus attitude? Ladies: Demand oral sex. Demand oral sex from your sexual partners. Demand oral sex from your boyfriend. Demand oral sex from your one night stands. Demand oral sex from your friends with benefits. Demand that your sexual partners educate themselves on how to better their oral sex skills. Demand that your sexual partners bring you to orgasm via oral sex. Demand that your sexual partners take your direction when giving oral sex. Demand to have intelligent conversations about the importance of oral sex for women. Demand the right to be heard when speaking about oral sex for women. Demand that everybody gets oral sex, and everybody gives oral sex.

So, let’s level the playing field. Rather than accepting a culture that touts the man’s orgasm as the main purpose of the sexual act, let’s build a new culture that promotes equality in the bedroom. As women, by demanding oral sex, we demand that our sexual voices be heard. That our sexual wants be answered. That our sexual needs be met. So, next time a guy finishes up while you’re still begging for more, or maybe before he even whips out his dick, or when entering into a sexual situation of any nature: demand oral sex. You’ll be happy you did.

3 thoughts on “Smash the Sexual Status Quo: Demand Oral Sex

  1. get another man. I had an awful wife who I gave head to but rarely returned the favor. Plenty of men are willing to give head. Find them. That’s it.

    1. I personally love going down on women. I love the juices the, the scent, the uncontrollable movements, and providing pleasure. My favorite position is eating a women from behind while she’s in the doggy style position.

      – LazyMike

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