January Slut of the Month: Caitlin Donohue

I am: Really excited to be here!

By Day: I’m a writer.

By Night: I recently became comfortable applying liquid eyeliner. Also I host.

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My Vices: I think some people would say I smoke too much weed, or that I’m too Sagittarius.

My Virtues: I have really good reasons for all my vices.

The Present: Getting my DIY media empire www.ahdm4u.com off the ground with queer hip-hop promoter/DJ/producer/one of my dearest friends Kelly Lovemonster. We just put out a really international emerging artists issue. Living in San Francisco. Pumping iron.

The Future: Doing my first live reading in I don’t know seven years, in two weeks for Michelle Tea’s Radar reading series. Hosting a talk show. Buying a nice video camera. Moving to Mexico City. Developing the business end of AHDM4U.

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Favorite Flavor: Goldfish crackers.

Favorite Feeling: The end of the “Flawless” video.

Favorite Fabric: Definitely the purple faux I used to make my kitty two-piece out of for Folsom this year.

Substance is: Something you can still see when you look away from the computer screen.

Style is: See above. But I’ll give you a concrete example: the fall 2010 lace Givenchy jumpsuit currently on view at Casa Azul, Frida Kahlo’s house/museum in the Coyoacán neighborhood of Mexico City.

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Purple hair images: Hair and styling by Jesse Diaz

Slut is: A word that scared the shit out of me in high school, probably because I was using it myself in such a small-minded, derogatory way. It was my fallback for labeling women who didn’t seem to have that mortal fear of people knowing you had sex, I guess. A control thing.

Which is not to say that I have been not slutty. I’ve had my opportunities. When I was 21 I contracted herpes and I had to tell all my partners from the last few months (*the* crash course in human nature, FYI). One of my phone calls was to the guy I’d been dating the summer before, who called me a “fucking slut”, called back to apologize, then got caught up and called me a slut again. It felt like the worst thing. It still knocks around my head when it’s time for me to disclose my STD status to someone I’m trying to sleep with.

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Photo: Allen Jordan

I’m so happy and thankful to have become a part of an extended network of friends and family who actively try to ameliorate the stigma surrounding that word through being really open about sex and sexuality. Public sluts, I feel it, are the answer to private slut shaming.

Slut has a lot of meanings. Don’t say it if you don’t love it though, is my rule.

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Photo: Shot In The City

Follow her on Twitter @caitlindonohue

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